Shellhard Bonds
by Cartoonqueen53416
Summary: They are like any other family.
1. Sutures

Disclaimer: Ninja Turtles belongs to Eastman and Laird

"What are you doing?"

"We need to talk." Leo backed away and sheathed his swords.

"Don't waste my time, Donatello. I'm training." I swept his legs out from underneath him, satisfied with the sound of his shell hitting the floor.

"Then perhaps sparring will help. You'll be interacting with someone at least. No weapons though." Leo remained stone-faced as we put our weapons on the rack. We exchanged blows for a while. Aside from a few good hits, I remained on the defensive and didn't allow Leo a chance to touch me.

"Why did you ask to spar if you weren't going to take it seriously?! Do you know how many times I could've killed you?! Are you ever-" I grabbed his arm and swung him down to the floor, pinning his hands behind him and squeezing the left wrist a bit harder. A shocked look briefly adorned his face.

"Ever going to what? Contrary to your belief, we do take things seriously! You just fail to notice!" He snarled and got out of my hold, kicking me in the chest. At the last second, I grabbed the edge of his shell, hanging on for dear life as he bucked, dodged my punches, and my attempts to pin him down again. I flipped off him and delivered a roundhouse kick to his side, making him stagger. I ran in for a dragon punch but he parried the attack, and vaulted over me. I turned to face him, caught his leg from the air and threw him behind me.

"You kidding me?! All you guys do is goof off without a care in the world! Our enemies are out there! We have to be prepared," he shouted as he leaped back onto his feet and was in the air again. I avoided another drop-kick by spinning on my shell, forcing him away with well placed strikes. He didn't give me much reprieve before we were at each other again.

"Oh cry me a river, Leo! We were right beside you every step of the way! You aren't the only one that feels responsible!" I executed an Invisible Flying Dragon but didn't see the back-fist strike nor ducked fast enough. I countered the next attack with an Upper Rising Block.

"You sure don't act like it! Maybe if you did, I wouldn't have to train for five turtles!"

"That's a lie and you know it! Any training we do won't ever be enough because you feel the same way about yourself!"

"You don't know what you're talking about! You can't possibly understand how I feel! You think I'm doing all this to be a jerk?! I hardly see any of you pick up the slack! But noooo! No reason to do anything because Leo does it for you!" He went in for a reverse punch, only for me to jab him in the stomach and lunge; he somersaulted from the lunge, used the wall to kick off and knock right into me. We wrestled for control, flailing chaotically until I executed a front-snap kick, which separated our heated and sweaty bodies. Only then did he realize what he said. He plopped down and covered his face in his hands, tears seeping through his fingers. I sat down in front of him, a little taken aback that it took less time than expected for him to crack; it proved how badly he wanted to be heard, no matter what he told himself.

"At least we would've died together."

"W-what?"

"If the Utroms hadn't intervened right then and there, we wouldn't be sitting here. We would all be dead and survived by only a few."

"I don't see how that's any better." His voice was shaking a little. I looked away for a second.

"What if only one of us came out of it alive? Could you imagine Mikey, Raph, or Splinter being the sole survivor of our family? They sure as heck would have a hard time moving on, with our deaths hanging over their heads." Before I could go further, Leo was wiping tears from my eyes, holding my shoulders so I couldn't look away again. A blessed moment of silence passed.

"I've thought about that, but I figured if you guys made it out alive…"

"And what makes you think we would be just dandy after that, huh?! You act as if your life doesn't matter! You aren't some sacrificial lamb! It's painful to watch you treat yourself as such!" I pushed him away and stood up. "You feel that you don't deserve to be our brother anymore but you do! Shit happens, Leo! Giving it your all isn't always enough, but that doesn't mean you aren't!" He stared at me with big, sad eyes. I collapsed to my knees and broke down, letting Leo gather me in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Donnie. I didn't know what I was doing. I've just been so scared since our last fight with him. I don't want to lose any of you. I-I don't want to be left alone." I held him tighter and nodded.

...

Mikey and I came home with pizza (along with minor bruises), and immediately knew something went down. The lair didn't need to show it. Mikey's enthusiastic chatter halted as he went around looking for our brothers before I could start to. Dang brat was that fast.

"You guys are back early." I glanced over my shoulder.

"What the heck happened to you?"

"I fought with Donnie." He winced when he moved his left arm.

"If beating you up was Donnie's strategy, I could've done it myself," I said with a half-hearted huff. I suddenly had a weeping, big brother in my arms apologizing over and over. He was trembling badly and hiding his face. By the time Mikey walked in, Leo drifted off.

"Donnie's out. I didn't want to wake him." I started carrying Fearless up to his room, then tucked him in. "It'll take more than one talk, but it's a start." I frowned and faced my baby brother.

"You know something, don't you?" His gaze didn't waver.

"Only because I was there at the right time. We've all got wounds, Raph. Sorting through our feelings as a family is the only way they'll heal enough to not reopen. If we don't stick together, then we've already lost." I put my arm around his shoulders and held him close and gripped my sai firmly. 'We will pull through this. We gotta.'


	2. Turtle Affairs

"Raphael, I don't think this is a good idea." I glanced at Michelangelo, who was fiddling his fingers anxiously.

"You don't have to go with me, Michelangelo."

"And face Donatello alone? We need at least one of us to come out of this alive." I rolled my eyes.

"He's our brother, not the Hulk."

"Could've fooled me." The lab door slammed open to reveal a very sleep-deprived genius.

"Would it kill you guys to talk, I don't know, not outside my lab!" Michelangelo hid behind me as I glared at our brother.

"Oh like you're getting anything done with only a couple hours of sleep! I get you're overworked but it doesn't give you the right to take it out on us!" A moment of tensed silence passed. He relaxed just a little, rubbing his temples. "I'm sorry. But please, go somewhere else to talk." There went my patience. I grabbed Michelangelo's hand and herded them both into the lab.

"No way. Donatello, I'm not here to lecture you."

"You aren't?"

"No because one, you won't listen, and two, something else has been bothering me. With all the stuff we've had to deal with, I forgot about it up until now."

"What's that, Compadre," Michelangelo asked.

"Why did we have to act like total boneheads during our adventure with our counterparts? It better be a good reason, because I was ready to punch the other Raphael." Donatello slumped in his chair and put his face in his hands.

"Dude, maybe we should let him nap first." Michelangelo looked more concerned than scared at this point.

"Fine, as long as he answers my-"

"We were unstable. I didn't know how our super mutations would work with dimensional travel."

"That's the only reason? I know they were dangerous but we were in control."

"Except when Leonardo went all wacko from it." I elbowed Michelangelo, shooting him a you're-not-helping-look. Donatello nodded in agreement anyways.

"It was too much of a risk, plus the less they know about our world, the better." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Feel free to tell us anytime" I said, tapping my foot. Without warning, he harshly gripped my shoulders and got into my face.

"Is it so hard to wish for things to be the way they used to be?! In the past, all we had to do was thwart Shredhead's schemes. Now we have Lord Dregg, HAVOC, alien bounty hunters, and other maniacs making our lives a living hell! Yeah, Shredder was dangerous at times but it never got as complicated and severe as now! So sue me for wanting to act like a kid when we have help!" Michelangelo and I stared slackjawed at his tirade. He was also crying. 'Damn it.' Michelangelo didn't hesitate to hug our brainiac. Donatello hugged back even harder, tears still streaming down his face while I felt like crap.

"Don't feel too bad, Raphael. You got him to open up." I nearly jumped out of my shell because of my eldest brother.

"Do you have a fetish for doing that? 'Cause I think you do." He whacked me upside the head.

"You guys just need to be more observant, and train more. But right now..." He pushed me into our hugging brothers, who immediately forced me to join. I couldn't resist returning their embraces.


	3. Family Superhero

Disclaimer: Tmnt is owned by Eastman and Laird

"Raph, just go in already." I sent a glare through my phone, hoping it reached a certain bonehead on the other line.

"How do you know I-"

"Because you've been silent for the past few minutes. I can see you standing in front of your door as if I was there. You've gotta talk to him, Raph. This has been bothering you for days." Damn Casey for knowing me so well. I took a deep breath and marched myself inside. The lair looked recently cleaned up, I heard Leo doing his katas in the dojo, and Don was watching Jimmy Neutron while fiddling with some gadget. I walked to the kitchen and casually got a drink of water as Mikey seasoned the stew. He taste-tested the soup and offered me a sip. I shook my head and he gave me a concerned look.

"You okay? You've been a little down since Leo and I got back from the Membership Drive." Why did it have to be the emotionally adept brother? 'May as well get it over with. He knows something's up.' I crossed my arms over my chest and looked down at my feet.

"I need to know, Mike. And be completely honest with me, kay?" He nodded, then turned around briefly to stir the stew one last time before turning the stove off and moving the pot to a cool spot. "Why didn't you join the Justice Force? I thought you'd jump at the chance to be Turtle Titan and all." He blinked once, then gave me a soft smile.

"I still think superheroes are cool and I enjoy fighting beside them, but I'd pick you guys over them any day." I met his eyes but couldn't bring myself to say what I wanted. "Raph, look at me. Why is this bothering you so much?" I met his eyes.

"Listen, Bro. I know we teased you about being Turtle Titan and weren't very supportive a lot of the time. If you really want to be a superhero, then go for it. Don't let what we said or whatever hold you back." Mike's baby blue orbs widened. Before I knew it, he had me in a tight hug.

"Raph, you guys already apologized for the teasing, Heck, I wasn't even that mad at you beforehand. I don't even want that life anymore." He backed away, releasing me

"Really?"

"Remember when I ran off and created Turtle Titan? I ended up helping Silver Sentry. I wanted so badly to be like Silver Sentry and the other superheroes because I thought if I followed in their footsteps, I could inspire others and maybe work towards us being accepted. I do admit that the fame and stuff was a part of it too. I wanted to be appreciated and feel good about myself." I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing wrong with wanting recognition, Mikey. Sometimes you need to be told you are good, right?"

"Exactly. I guess I also wanted to prove to you guys I wasn't being a baby and that I can be serious."

"So what changed your mind?"

"Being in the Justice Force would take a lot of my time and I'd hardly see you guys. I don't want to have to choose between them and my family, Raph. You guys will always come first." I pulled him into a loose headlock and gave him a noogie.

"So you're okay with staying in the sewers with your boring older brothers and Sensei?" Mikey rolled his eyes good-naturedly.

"I've thought long and hard about it, Dude. Silver Sentry and I even talked about it a few times." He shifted on his seat. "I wanted to do more for you and the world. I wanted my family to be proud of me and prove that I can be relied on."

"But Mike, you already do that. You don't need a cape or spandex to be a hero." Mikey beamed.

"I just need to be my glorious self." I punched him lightly on the arm.

"Don't push it."


	4. Light's Ferocity

It isn't very often that Silver Sentry and Turtle Titan patrol together, let alone go on missions. But when they do get together, everyone else can rest easy.

It was slow, mostly because of Silver Sentry. Not to say there wasn't any action; his powers made things a whole lot easier. I got to admire the stars, so I didn't mind so much. After choosing what rooftop to rest on, I updated my family of my whereabouts.

"This is nice. I rarely get to just relax." I smiled up at SS, and gave him another cookie. He immediately munched on it.

"Yeah. Adventuring can lose its appeal sometimes. I figured you'd want an easy night with your favorite turtle."

"I appreciate it, Turtle Titan. You are a good friend." He clapped my shell.

"Your family doing okay?"

"Yes. My nephew is recovering well, and just in time for my sister's birthday. I think things will be alright. What about you?" I laid on my shell, naming a few constellations.

"They're better. Leo's really trying. Everyone's in a much better mood." He laid down beside me.

"What about you? Are you doing alright?" I could feel him frowning."You've been quiet." I rolled onto my side.

"Just doing some reflecting." He rolled over too.

"Michelangelo. Give me a bit more credit." 'Shell. Can't keep anything a secret these days.' I knew I had to talk then. Being a hypocrite wasn't much fun.

"It's my fault. If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't be going through this. Maybe Karai would've made the right choice. All because of my stupid, fat mouth-" he grabbed hold of my shoulders and steadied me.

"Take deep breaths, Michelangelo. Deep breaths...Now please. Start from the beginning." I didn't want to but the look he was giving me left no room for argument-same one my bros would give me.

"You are not supposed to be here." I glared at the woman, dressed in a fitted gown with matching red lipstick.

"There are a lot of places I'm not supposed to be. Never stopped me before." She walked further into the shadows, making sure her departure went unnoticed.

"What warrants you coming here of all places?" I marched right up to her, getting in her face.

"You need to make up your mind, Lady. You say you don't want to hurt us but you've been doing the opposite." She glared right back.

"I am honorbound to serve him. He save-."

"He took you in and all that junk. I get it." She narrowed her eyes.

"Do not pretend to understand, Michelangelo. Does Leonardo know you are here?"

"Leo's one of the reasons I am here," I nearly yelled, hands balled into tight fists. "He still believes in you, even though you always go back to the Shredder. Every time you help us, he gets hopeful, only to get shot down over and over." At least she had the decency to look ashamed.

"I do not wish to hur-"

"Playing ping-pong with his emotions is hurting him. Not one of us knows where you stand. One minute, you're an ally; the next, you're attacking us with swords blazing!" She opened her mouth. "I understand better than you think, Karai! Going down this road will get a lot of people killed, most likely you. Or us. OR BOTH!"

"I won't let it come to that."

"Then make a decision already! Help us out, or just stay out of it!"

"I have told you all before. I cannot abandon the Shredder. It will go against my Honor," she growled out through gritted teeth. I punched her in the face, knocking her down on her ass.

"If you feel that strongly about it, then go ahead and serve him! But don't go acting like you care about us! It's either him, us, or yourself!"

"I didn't want to hurt anybody. She made me so mad though. I couldn't let her mess with us anymore, but it backfired on me and my family got hurt." SS looked on solemnly, clenching and unclenching his hands.

"You are a very bright person, Michelangelo. I often forget what you've been through. I'm sorry you are feeling this way."

"It's not your fault. I'm the one that decided to yell at her. I always seem to mess things up." Silver Sentry went rigid, then grabbed my chin gently.

"Everyone makes mistakes, and I've never seen someone take them with such grace. You keep going and try to help your family do the same." I couldn't help a small smile.

"I don't like dwelling on stuff for too long. It happened and there's no changing it. All I can do is move on and get better." I bowed my head. "But sometimes I can't let go. I don't want them to hate me."

"They could never hate you, Michelangelo. Just like you couldn't truly hate them." The superhero wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I leaned in.

"I'm being a hypocrite. Leo's been learning how to share his feelings again, yet I've been doing the opposite. It can be hard to talk to your family."

"Yeah, it can." I would've fallen off the roof if Silver Sentry hadn't caught me. I immediately whipped around to see my eldest brother, chipped shell and all. "The idea of your family hating you is just as painful as the feelings." Another set of arms wrapped around me. I sent SS a half hearted glare briefly.

"I'm sorry that I messed up. I just wanted her to stop. I-"

"You were looking out for us, Mikey. That's what matters. Don't forget we can get impulsive too. You're not the only one, Little Brother." I buried my head against his plastron.

"It's still my fault that you all got hurt. If I hadn't-"

"True, you may have influenced her choice." He cupped my face and rubbed his thumbs over my tear stains. "But you may not have. Regardless, it was her decision to make. You are not responsible for her actions, you hear? The only thing I fault you for is thinking you messed up." Our eyes met.

"You really mean that? You don't think I'm a screw-up?" He chuckled and pecked my forehead lightly.

"None of us do, Mikey. You're just a tad too hard on yourself." The stormy cloud above my head went away.

"Says you!" We both laughed and held each other tighter, until we heard an audible click. SS was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, happily admiring the picture on his phone.


End file.
